The Sprinkle Sprinkle Lady and the art of choosing a partner

The quest for true love is an odyssey as old as time itself. Recognising and honouring your aspirations in love is a true act of authenticity and courage. As modern women, some of us are embracing the ‘Sprinkle Sprinkle’ movement, sprinkling not only a pinch of magic but also a dose of realism into our love lives. You’ve probably heard of the Sprinkle Sprinkle Lady, or SheraSeven, and her strong views on love and ambition. She preaches the audacity of « dating high » (money money). To combine love and ambition without blushing. This concept is often criticised. Is it really unreasonable to desire a mate who reflects my own ambitions? Let me shed some additional light on the subject and give you a flavour of my reality.

Dating up, or hypergamy, means looking for a partner who enjoys greater financial stability and social status. It’s an expression of our aspirations, a projection of where we see ourselves in the future. It’s not just a question of money, it’s also a question of compatibility of life goals and comfort. On the other hand, when SheraSeven mentions dating-up, she’s usually talking about dating a man rich enough to fulfil all your material desires, unabashedly. And that doesn’t include romance but manipulation: it’s gold-digging.

Attracting a partner from a similar socio-economic background can create reassuring common ground. Having a partner who comes from the same background as you means sharing a common understanding of the world and the efforts required to achieve your goals. This is perhaps where we find it easier to understand each other, where struggles and triumphs are shared with equal intensity. A companion who knows the value of hard work, who understands the income cycle, and who can walk alongside you in your life plans and celebrate your victories as his own. A companion who knows exactly what you go through every day.

Sometimes love is found where you least expect it, because finding the right person is also about authenticity. Love is not limited to socio-economic criteria. Dating down doesn’t mean giving up on your standards or personal worth, but rather recognising the richness of human qualities: kindness, empathy and shared passions.

Behind this term lies a layer of judgements and stereotypes that do not do justice to the complexity of human relationships. In love, titles and material possessions can pale in comparison to a shared laugh, a knowing glance, or someone’s ability to support you when you’re feeling at your lowest.

It’s normal to want a comfortable life and it’s your right to look for a partner who can give you that comfort.

To say that it is perfectly acceptable to seek a partner with financial stability or a certain level of success is not to trivialise love, but rather to recognise that the practical aspects of life influence our relationships. I accept that my desire to improve my standard of living is a factor in my relationship choices, and that this choice can also result in mutual and sustained fulfilment. So why apologise for it?

However, never forget that love is built on more than money, it’s built on respect, alignment of hearts and ambitions. When I look at the men I date, I don’t just see their financial situation or status, but also their potential for growth, their ambition, their values and the way they see the future. The attraction of stability should not promote ignorance of the essential foundations of any relationship: respect, understanding and sincere love. These are, for me, indicators of compatible values and life goals.

Self-esteem is a central pillar. It’s the first step towards a fulfilling relationship, because knowing your own worth helps you choose a partner who enriches your life, not complicates it. My personal limits are the guardians of my well-being and the foundations of my romance. Some of us don’t want to run the whole show on our own, and why should we?

Anyway

Dating someone who earns more is a choice, as is dating someone on an equal or unequal income. You are free to choose your partner according to the criteria that resonate with your most sincere desires. There’s nothing wrong with seeking financial fulfilment in a relationship, but I recommend that it be done with integrity and with mutual happiness in mind. Love should never be a prison for our ambitions, but rather a springboard towards a future that we aspire to design together. The ‘Sprinkle Sprinkle Lady’ encourages us to sprinkle love into our lives and gives us a lot of good advice (which I’ll list in another article), but let me tell you that love is not one-dimensional. The happiness we seek in romance has to be multidimensional, like the facets of a diamond, sparkling with ambition, human connections, and everyday joy.

So, yes, draw on his confidence and his taste for emotional and financial luxury, but infuse it with your essence.