Choose your friends in line with your life goals: an essential guide

In our journey of personal growth, it often happens that our dating choices evolve alongside our aspirations. As you grow, so does your circle ! Choosing to surround our lives with people who embody our financial worth is not only an act of self-care, but also a deliberate move to align our relationships with our own life goals. However, these choices can sometimes provoke mixed reactions from those around us. Don’t overlook the profound impact your relationships can have on your personal and professional development.

Has anyone ever told you that you’ve changed? That you’re not the same? That it doesn’t look like you? It’s said with such astonishment or sometimes contempt. As a woman in this world, you can’t change. How dare you? It’s so bizarre and ridiculous! At least, that’s what these people think. Let me explain: when people around us make these remarks, it’s often a projection of their own fears and limitations. It’s as if they’re looking at themselves through our eyes, confronted with their own reluctance to change or their inability to envisage a similar personal evolution. And sometimes it’s simply jealousy or disconnection.

Projection : Comments about your development may reflect their own discomfort with the idea of change. They project their doubts onto your path, sometimes without even realising it, seeking to bring you back into their comfort zone rather than supporting your growth.

Jealousy : Sometimes these remarks can be tinged with jealousy. They see your progress and successes as a mirror of what they would like to achieve but haven’t yet dared. This jealousy can manifest itself through belittling comments or attitudes that minimise our life choices.

Disconnection: They can also indicate a disconnection between your new aspirations and the preconceived expectations of those around you. They may have a fixed image of who you’re supposed to be (or vice versa), based on their past perception. When you evolve beyond this image, it can create discomfort or misunderstanding on their part. For example, if you become more withdrawn when you used to go out a lot with your friend, this can create a disconnection.

When your personal development takes you away from pre-established paths with those close to you, the question of whether or not to maintain these relationships has to be asked. Personally, I’ve experienced disconnections and I’ve sometimes chosen not to maintain certain friendships (and vice versa).

If this friendship brings you an enriching perspective and is respectful of your personal choices despite different life goals, I’d recommend keeping it. It gives you a diversity of opinions and experience that enriches your understanding of the world.

Breaking up a friendship becomes inevitable when :

• Fundamental values diverge too much: When your friend’s moral, ethical or social values are radically opposed to your own, this can create constant tension and an incompatibility that is difficult to overcome. For example, fundamental differences on subjects such as honesty, loyalty or justice can make a friendship toxic.
• Toxicity and emotional drain: If a friendship becomes a source of stress, constant disappointment, manipulation or excessive criticism, it can become toxic for your emotional well-being. Relationships where you feel under constant pressure to meet your friend’s expectations without receiving emotional support in return are generally unsustainable.
• Hinders your personal development: When your friend doesn’t support your personal or professional ambitions, or actively discourages you from pursuing your goals, this can become an obstacle to your personal development. A friendship that keeps you in too narrow a comfort zone, with no possibility of growth or positive change, can become an obstacle to your happiness and fulfilment..
• Lack of mutual respect: If your friend does not respect your limits, your needs or your life choices, this creates an imbalance in the relationship. Mutual respect is essential for a healthy and lasting friendship.

Your happiness comes first!

Don’t be afraid to let go of a relationship, because some people are just passing through, others for life. Every encounter, whether positive or negative, provides a personal experience from which you can draw valuable lessons for your own development.

Are you taking positive action in line with your goals? It’s a natural progression. Whether it’s getting a degree, starting a business, getting out of your comfort zone, or working on your faults and qualities, each of these steps represents a door that you open to new opportunities. Each action also opens you up to a wider network of people who share your ambitions.

Meeting these new people is an opportunity to explore different perspectives and enrich your personal development. Over the years, I’ve met many women involved in various personal development activities such as yoga and therapy, as well as initiatives to combat global warming or develop businesses. Although I haven’t made friends with all of them, each of these encounters has given me a positive experience that has enriched my own approaches and added energy to my journey.

Your social circle is naturally bound to evolve and enrich your experience. Look for people who share your aspirations and values, so that you can align your relationships with your life goals. Also seek out those who have succeeded in areas that interest you, not only for the inspiration they can offer, but also for the practical lessons and opportunities for growth and networking they can provide.

Cultivating progressive relationships means surrounding yourself with people who support your ambitions and are committed to their own growth. Here’s how to establish and maintain relationships that will truly foster your personal development. An evolving relationship is one where there is an exchange of ideas, support and encouragement. This type of relationship goes beyond simple companionship. It offers you fertile ground where people can grow together, challenge each other and share common goals for personal and professional development.

1. Choose people who are aligned with your values: Look for people who share similar values and aspirations. Get involved in communities or groups that share your interests.
2. Be open to new perspectives: Listen actively and show an interest in the ideas and experiences of others. Be willing to learn and grow in response to the advice and observations of others.
3. Encourage and support each other’s growth: Congratulate your friends on their achievements and encourage their efforts. Offer emotional support during challenging times.
4. Communicate openly and honestly: Share your goals and aspirations with those around you. Be honest about your needs and limitations.
5. Set healthy limits: Make sure that your relationships respect your personal needs and your limits. Don’t be afraid to walk away from toxic or unconstructive relationships.
6. Invest time and energy: Spend quality time with the people who matter to you. Show your commitment by taking an active part in their lives and including them in your own.
7. Be a role model for personal growth: Set an example by working on your own development. Be inspiring through your actions and achievements.
8. Take part in shared growth activities: get involved together in projects, training or personal development activities. Encourage participation in events that promote learning and improvement.

Put these actions into practice and you’ll see that you’ll cultivate evolving relationships as well as inspiring and being inspired by those around you!